Real Rachel?

I was chatting to a good friend about the things she is getting sorted out as she plans for their family holiday over Dec/Jan. They are a family with 2 teenagers and are going away on a special overseas trip for 40 days, tied in with her husband’s sabbatical. This is not their usual camping trip, and will be a wonderful experience for them. She was telling me about her plans to walk through the Bible with her family, taking it in 40 segments for each of the days of the holiday and she explained some other amazing activities she had created for them to experience, all based around their personal faith formation. I was amazed at how intentional she was about this. For most of us, just getting everyone out the door on a holiday is more than enough to plan, let alone all these other things too!

I love being inspired by my friends, but today I found myself comparing myself to her and felt a bit down.

Added to this, over the past few weeks, as I have been scrolling down my Facebook news feed, I have seen many of my friends posting about what they had been doing for a good friend of ours who is going through cancer treatment. They have been so incredible and SO creative with the ways they have been loving her! Again I found myself comparing my lack of creativity and time spent with this dear friend and the seemingly incredible efforts that others were going to for her.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I assume I am not the only one!

The internet and social media can be wonderful tools, but also VERY dangerous ones. We see a false image of reality and too much information that is distorting our view of reality. We see our “friends” posting, “here I am on holiday!” or “look where my husband took me for dinner!” We don’t usually see posts like, “here is the argument we had last night” or “ here’s me crying myself to sleep because my teenage has walked away from me” or “ I don’t know where to turn next!”

We are seeing glimpses of the life of “friends” but this is NOT the REAL thing. We may feel like we are journeying through life with them because we get updated regularly, but are we really? This is not what it means to DO LIFE TOGETHER. I wonder how many of us are feeling undue stress, anxiety and low self-esteem as we compare our lives to others forgetting that what we see is NOT the real life. It is only a glimpse at the good bits. To really know we have to journey with each other. To journey means REALLY being there. Being there when it is good AND when it’s bad. Celebrating with each other, but also crying with each other.

I wonder too what this exposure to the internet and social media is doing to our young people. And even to our children who have access to the internet and get to see so much of what is going on in the world. While I agree of course that children and young people need to have knowledge of current events, but are they exposed to too much? And is it even realistic or is it tainted with some media exaggeration? Are they carrying a burden that is not theirs to carry at such an early age? Are they comparing their life with the glimpses they see of others on a newsfeed or wall and feeling like their life is so boring and worthless?

What is real? Who is the real Rachel? This is a question I have been finding I have been asking myself a lot lately. Is what people see from the outside true to the real Rachel living on the inside? Or am I wearing a mask and living in a mascarade? Am I living the life God has planned for Rachel or one that I think people want me to live? Or have I created a life of comparison, based on my perception of the life of others?

Be who you are!

1 Samuel 16:7 “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

O God, I pray that when you look inside me, that you find a clean and pure heart. (Ps 51: 10-12) “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

We are all created differently, with a unique purpose to fulfil. It is absurd to compare ourselves with others.

(Ephesians 2:10) “ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Be who God made YOU to be! For He made you “fearfully and wonderfully!”

(Psalm 139:14)

GoOD Friends

Here we go, my first ever blog post. It was not hard to decide what to write about first! I have just spent a week away with a great friend, ministering and serving God together, and then relaxing together doing things we both love: walking, eating , talking and watching movies!! We have only known each other for a few years, but instantly ‘clicked’ when we first met. We see each other a couple of times a year because we are in different countries, but with technology now days this doesn’t matter and when we actually get together, we just take off!

We are both blessed to have wonderful families and fantastic, godly husbands but God has doubly blessed us both with other people in our lives too. It is because of her that I am writing this blog and we will see where it goes. She is the one who inspired and encouraged me in this. I am always so blessed by what she writes in her books and blogs, I only hope I can be half as inspiring to others as she is to me.

I guess most people would say they have a few great friends in their life at any one time, people they laugh with, ‘play’ with and socialize with; but what about GOoD friends? As a Christian, I think it’s great and right to have a wide variety of friends, but I think we all need a few people in our life who are GOoD friends.

GOoD friends walk the faith journey together. We challenge, encourage and inspire one another and serve God together. My friend and I are on our own unique but at the same time very similar journeys through life with God. We are so comfortable around each other because we just “get” each other and are serious about this faith journey. She had been reading a book that was really encouraging her, and as we talked this week she could see that we were in a similar place – she just got it! So far I have only read the one passage that she highlighted for me, and it has totally undone me! Every line in the paragraph was so pertinent to me on so many levels, I almost couldn’t breathe! Sitting there at her kitchen bench as she prepared dinner, in that intimate space that GOoD friends can share – I was barely able to hold it together. O, the love of God, which reached into my heart and touched areas I didn’t even realize were hurting and the love of a GOoD friend who listens to the Holy Spirit and gives words of encouragement at the right time.

Ecc 4: 9-12

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour:

If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

These verses are often quoted in the context of marriage and rightly so. But I think they are equally important for ALL relationships. A friendship that has God in the centre is so precious, and also so powerful! What amazing things we can do together for God. My friend and I have our own areas God has called us to serve him in, in our own countries etc, but what a joy it has been this week to “labour” together, definitely a “good return” and SO much fun!!

My prayer is that I can be as much of an inspiration and encouragement to her as she is to me. I don’t feel that I am at the moment, but I guess that is how friendships and relationships are. We are there for each other unconditionally. “Aroha” is a Maori word translated love. But it is not the, “I love chocolate” kind of love. It is more like the Greek word “Agape”. The kind of love God has for us, the kind of love GOoD friends have. Friends that will cheer you on, celebrate with you, cry with you, understand you and bless you; a friend who fills you up, doesn’t drain you. After being with GOoD friends you come home feeling closer to God and encouraged to take the next steps on your faith journey.

As a parent, I pray that my children will find their own GOoD friends too. Friends who will walk with each other on this spiritual journey through life; who will encourage each other and unconditionally love each other. At the kids camp I have just been at, God really stirred me to pray this for the children there too. Many children are so alone, they want to walk with God but the pressures of this world are getting stronger and stronger. It is not only as we get older that we need GOoD friends, we all need them! Our children need GOoD friends to walk along side them, to encourage and to pick each other up if they fall and to spur them on. And as a mentor and a leader this is also my prayer. We were not meant to walk alone. Jesus walked closely with his friends, he did life with them. We need to do life with others too, not alone!

I thank God that I have some amazing, GOoD friends in my life. They bless me in so many ways that I am not eloquent enough to express in words. Who are your GOoD friends? If you don’t have one, ask God for one. Ask God on behave of your children too. God wants to give us GOOD things and a friend who is passionate about serving God and walking this journey of faith with you, who is beside you cheering you on with encouragement and unconditional love is very, very GOoD!!